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| 1. Tarzan the Ape Man (1981) Director: John Derek | |
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(price subject to change: see help) Asin: 6301977483 Catlog: Video Sales Rank: 23218 Average Customer Review: US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan |
Reviews (23)
Having said all that, Bo Derek STILL looks awesome, which is why I give this film three stars! And when those native girls strip her down and begin bathing her... YOWZERS!!! A HOT scene!!!
Granted, "Tarzan the Ape Man" is a legendary bad film, but it is the sort of bad film that you really have to see to believe. You can have a lot of fun laughing at a movie. In terms of Tarzan films this goes back to the Johnny Weismuller approach; actually, it goes beyond, because this Tarzan says absolutely nothing, which would be the Elmo Lincoln approach I guess. More importantly, he looks like if he had to go hand-to-hand with a great ape he would end up standing at the end (compare him to Christopher Lambert in "Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan," which is still the film version that best embodies the original Edgar Rice Burroughs novel). The big irony here is that if Bo Derek said nothing the film would be greatly improved; the problem with this film is not so much the visual images as the lousy dialogue (this is symbolized by the fact that the film begins with Tarzan's yell replacing the roar of the MGM lion in the opening credit). Bo shared the Razzie Award for Worst Actress with Faye Dunaway in "Mommie Dearest"; this film might have been bad but it managed to avoid winning any other awards, leaving those honors (or lacks thereof) to the likes of "Heaven's Gate" and Klinton Spilsbury in "The Legend of the Lone Ranger." Richard Harris plays Jane's father and tries gamely to bring some dignity and intelligence to the film, but Bo's babe in the woods act keeps bringing the film crashing down (when she starts crying about getting painted white near the end of the film is when I lost it). I had a friend who insisted that this was supposed to be a comedy, an outright spoof, and that nobody should be taken it literally. I have to disagree. They thought this was going to be a more sensual version of the Tarzan story, more like "The Blue Lagoon" for grown ups than anything else. However, the black & white films that Weismuller made with Maureen O'Sullivan in the early 1930s during the pre-Code era are still the sexiest Tarzan films ever made. As Bo Derek amply proves in this film, there is such a thing as showing too much skin. The rating for this film has to do with its unintended entertainment value and not its quality. Again, there are simply some films in the Bottom 100 of all time that you have to see to appreciate why they have found their appropriate place in cinematic history. ... Read more | |
| 2. Bolero Director: John Derek | |
![]() | list price: $19.98
(price subject to change: see help) Asin: 6300163601 Catlog: Video Sales Rank: 3593 Average Customer Review: US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan |
Reviews (4)
In "Bolero," Bo plays Lida MacGillivery, a little rich girl graduating from an English boarding school. Her graduation present is going to be the loss of her virginity, so she and her best friend, Catalina (Ana Obregón), go off to the deserts of Arabia, accompanied by her chauffer/bodyguard Cotton (George Kennedy). On the desert sands she meets a sexy sheik (Greg Bensen), who has his chance, but blows it despite all the Valentino references. When Lida has similar problems with a bullfighter in Spain named Angel (Andrea Occhipinti), we get the idea that this girl is going to have to go around the world, so to speak, to get her happy ending. Consequently, "Bolero" is a soft porn flick without the sex. Just think about that for a while and then it should be very clear to you why this is a bomb of major proportions that falls into the "so bad you have to see it to believe it" category instead of the "so bad it is good" column. Maybe director John Derek did this as a way of telling the adolescent males of the world to stop fantazigng about his wife (actually, Olivia d'Abo as Paloma is the sexiest woman in the film). Today Bo Derek appears on "Seventh Heaven" and she does a nice job of acting while fully dressed (plus I think she is, oh, let's say, 10 times better looking today at 44 than she was at the age of 28). There is redemption in Hollywood and it is good to know that her time in Purgatory for "Bolero" is a thing of the past.
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| 3. Ghosts Can't Do It Director: John Derek | |
![]() | list price: $89.99
(price subject to change: see help) Asin: 6301810694 Catlog: Video Sales Rank: 11858 Average Customer Review: US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan |
Reviews (5)
As for Bo, I don't know if she dropped off the face of the earth herself. If she doesn't get a reality show of her own pretty quick, only us old folks will remember that she existed at all, and we are of course reluctant to mention her name because we must explain "cornrows" at the same time. See the movie just so you can talk about it at a party someday...it will become more relevant as the years go by.
The main reason I rented this movie was because I like watching a bad movie every now and then, and to see if it was really as bad as most reviewers said it is. And to be honest, it's not THAT bad. The story is silly of course, but silly comedies can be fun as well. But the screenplay is quite stupid and the editing between some scenes is really bad. Apparently, some scenes in the movie are meant to be spoofs of other movies. One of these scenes, where Kate is dancing, and a reverend gets mad and says something like "she has the devil inside of her", is supposed to be a spoof of the Joan Crawford movie "Rain". I haven't seen that movie, so to me the scene seemed like just an attempt to make a funny scene with a funny character. And it is quite fun, but only because it's stupid. It doesn't make any sense. And most of the humor in the movie seems to be unintended. I'm not even sure John Derek's ambition was to make a silly comedy, or if he tried to make a romantic drama-comedy. Bo Derek is famous for being naked in her movies, but if that's your reason for seeing this movie, you will probably be disappointed. She does get naked a few times, in a couple of very short sequences. She's also well known for being named "the worst actress of the decade" (the 80s). And she is not good, but not quite that bad. And the screenplay with its stupid dialogue doesn't help her. To sum up, this movie is quite stupid, but not quite as bad as most critics say. If you, like me, enjoy watching bad movies for a laugh, I can recommend this one. My rating would be 2 and a half stars if that was possible. But since I can't give half stars, 3 seems more fair than 2.
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| 4. Bolero Director: John Derek | |
![]() | list price: $19.99
our price: $19.99 (price subject to change: see help) Asin: B00006JMTR Catlog: Video Sales Rank: 8208 Average Customer Review: US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan |
Reviews (4)
In "Bolero," Bo plays Lida MacGillivery, a little rich girl graduating from an English boarding school. Her graduation present is going to be the loss of her virginity, so she and her best friend, Catalina (Ana Obregón), go off to the deserts of Arabia, accompanied by her chauffer/bodyguard Cotton (George Kennedy). On the desert sands she meets a sexy sheik (Greg Bensen), who has his chance, but blows it despite all the Valentino references. When Lida has similar problems with a bullfighter in Spain named Angel (Andrea Occhipinti), we get the idea that this girl is going to have to go around the world, so to speak, to get her happy ending. Consequently, "Bolero" is a soft porn flick without the sex. Just think about that for a while and then it should be very clear to you why this is a bomb of major proportions that falls into the "so bad you have to see it to believe it" category instead of the "so bad it is good" column. Maybe director John Derek did this as a way of telling the adolescent males of the world to stop fantazigng about his wife (actually, Olivia d'Abo as Paloma is the sexiest woman in the film). Today Bo Derek appears on "Seventh Heaven" and she does a nice job of acting while fully dressed (plus I think she is, oh, let's say, 10 times better looking today at 44 than she was at the age of 28). There is redemption in Hollywood and it is good to know that her time in Purgatory for "Bolero" is a thing of the past.
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| 5. Ghosts Can't Do It (Amazon.com Exclusive) Director: John Derek | |
![]() | list price: $7.99
(price subject to change: see help) Asin: B000059ZWS Catlog: Video Sales Rank: 12360 Average Customer Review: US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan |
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Amazon.com After exploiting his trophy bride in similarly noxious movies like Tarzan, the Ape Man and Bolero, John Derek died in 1998 (at age 71), and this supernatural tripe suggests that true love reaches beyond the grave. The conceit here is that Bo's rich, much-older husband Scott (the ultra-hammy Anthony Quinn) still lusts after the hilariously distraught Katie (Bo's character) long after his suicide with a 12-gauge shotgun. But he's a ghost in need of a body to possess, so Bo embarks on a global journey to find a choice hunk of man-meat, kill him, and let Scott's spirit reap the benefits. Locations in Wyoming, Sri Lanka, the Maldive Islands, and Hong Kong do nothing to save this jaw-dropping clunker. It's a home movie made by brain-dead narcissists and should come with a disclaimer about the hazards of watching it. --Jeff Shannon Reviews (5)
As for Bo, I don't know if she dropped off the face of the earth herself. If she doesn't get a reality show of her own pretty quick, only us old folks will remember that she existed at all, and we are of course reluctant to mention her name because we must explain "cornrows" at the same time. See the movie just so you can talk about it at a party someday...it will become more relevant as the years go by.
The main reason I rented this movie was because I like watching a bad movie every now and then, and to see if it was really as bad as most reviewers said it is. And to be honest, it's not THAT bad. The story is silly of course, but silly comedies can be fun as well. But the screenplay is quite stupid and the editing between some scenes is really bad. Apparently, some scenes in the movie are meant to be spoofs of other movies. One of these scenes, where Kate is dancing, and a reverend gets mad and says something like "she has the devil inside of her", is supposed to be a spoof of the Joan Crawford movie "Rain". I haven't seen that movie, so to me the scene seemed like just an attempt to make a funny scene with a funny character. And it is quite fun, but only because it's stupid. It doesn't make any sense. And most of the humor in the movie seems to be unintended. I'm not even sure John Derek's ambition was to make a silly comedy, or if he tried to make a romantic drama-comedy. Bo Derek is famous for being naked in her movies, but if that's your reason for seeing this movie, you will probably be disappointed. She does get naked a few times, in a couple of very short sequences. She's also well known for being named "the worst actress of the decade" (the 80s). And she is not good, but not quite that bad. And the screenplay with its stupid dialogue doesn't help her. To sum up, this movie is quite stupid, but not quite as bad as most critics say. If you, like me, enjoy watching bad movies for a laugh, I can recommend this one. My rating would be 2 and a half stars if that was possible. But since I can't give half stars, 3 seems more fair than 2.
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| 6. Once Before I Die Director: John Derek | |
![]() | list price: $19.99
our price: $19.99 (price subject to change: see help) Asin: 6304039573 Catlog: Video Sales Rank: 38650 Average Customer Review: US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan |
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