Reviews (16)

The Granny is FUN,SEXY,and SCARY!
One day I was in my local video store just looking for a movie I haven't seen. The box caught my eye and I kinda liked the name,so I was just curious about what it really was. When I turned over the box I read the story that tells about the movie,and on the back it showed an extremely strange looking cat,which didn't interest me. And the other thing it showed was an evil looking woman with a knife and fork in her hands.(I thought she was attractive and had ample breasts.) So I said to myself,"I HAVE TO SEE THIS!!!"
In the beginning, it just shows granny's family disliking her and waiting for her to die. You outta hear granny's voice after she dies. It's CREEPY! A few minutes after granny dies,granny's granddaughter,Antoinette,and the girl that likes her uncle, exposes their breasts. But Antoinette only exposes her right breast when she has a fur coat on.I wonder how those girls have what it takes to be naked in a movie.After I saw the movie, I thought it was great! The first thing that popped in my mind after I thought it was great was,"I HAVE TO OWN THIS MOVIE!!!" And I do. I can't keep my eyes off it. So,what are you waiting for?! Go see The Granny!

a SCARY,SEXY,FUN movie!!!
The Granny is a movie i recommend to anyone. It's scary,sexy,and fun. What makes it scary is the granny herself. Before she died, she was a cranky granny who hated her family,except her granddaughter. When she returns from the dead,she's a homicidal maniac with the eeriest voice you've ever heard.The sexy parts are my favorite! first, the granny's granddaughter,who doesn't seem to have the least bit of courage do do this,exposes both her breasts while she's in her room getting ready to get dressed after she took a shower.Then a mom,who's about in her late 30's or 40's,is in a room excited about trying on granny's fur coats. As she's enjoying the way the fur coat feels on her,she flashes her right boob. And last, a young woman(I forgot her charactor) who is in love with her own uncle, is in her room in a lovesick mood. She's dancin' in front of a big mirror , she undresses herself from the waist up,and she's dancin' to a romantic love song while both of her beatiful,big boobs are exposed. The scary stuff,the sex,and the fun make The Granny 3 times as good! I gave it 4 stars because it's not exactly the BEST movie i've seen,but it's close to that.I think whoever thought of the way's to make The Granny interesting did a VERY good job! So,what are you waiting for?! Go see The Granny! IT'S A GREAT MOVIE!!!

???
Damn, what a masterpiece. As soon as the title runs across the screen and the cheesy clip-art comes on the screen with bad music...you know it's got to be good! This is the "best" b-movie ever. The Granny (before becoming a demon) looks like her wrinkles were made out of layered makeup. She offers incredible, sexual, hilarious one-liner jokes that'll have you on the floor laughing!!

Her family comes to visit, and wow...are they bad actors! It does contain a lot of breast nudity, but the whole idea of the movie is just brilliant. The effects really suck, the people tell awful but hilarious jokes, the costumes are bad...but it will keep you on the edge of your seat, begging for more!! The beginning is a little scary, but the rest is just a lot of stupid-looking gore. Check it out or miss out!!

5 Star movies should never be out of stock
This film has been out of print for sometime and who knows, if ever, it will appear on DVD. This video has caused fierce bidding wars on eBay.

Shannon Whirry is the goody-two-shoes who cares for her ailing (and insane) grandmother. The rest of the family hates Granny and teases Shannon for giving her so much care. Unfortunatly Shannon gets nothing in the will and the family make out like bandits.

However Granny received a visit form a salesman promising eternal life. So.....Granny becomes Monster Granny and runs amok in the mansion, slaughtering her family.

To say this film is gross and in bad taste is an understatement. Imagine if you will a lovely brunnette niece (a Swedish Bikini Team Model to boot) is giving oral pleasure to her freshly decapitated uncle. Yes folks that and more.

Shannon steals the show as she is the hottest B-actress since Shannon Tweed.

A New Role Model for Hagglers Everywhere!
The term "haggler", contrary to what most people think when they hear it ("one who haggles"), has become a great inside joke word to me and my friends. A haggler, to us, is an old frump with an ugly voice, who may or may not make ugly faces and gestures. It developed from characters like the Granny, and old hags that can only be imitated with raspy exaggeration and by plugging your nose. But about the movie.. all I can say is that by all conventional standards, it is truly terrible. Most reviewers have already said that the plot sucks, it has bad acting and bad make-up, etc. The Granny was entertaining, but far from being a good movie. The *ONLY* reason I would recommend this movie to anyone is that it will make you laugh. If you enjoy ridiculous horror movies like me, you won't be disappointed, but don't even think about buying it otherwise. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

The sexiest film of the early nineties!
Dark Tide is without a doubt, simply the most erotic film to come out of the action adventure genre since the seventies "Emmannuelle" series, and this would have fit in well with that series of sexploitation films...Richard Tyson is cast once again as the powerful bad guy, and the plot concerns a young innocent pair of newlyweds trying to capture deadly sea snakes in order to sell the expensive venom..But it is Brigitte Bako cast as sensual Andi, who steals the show..Andi would give any Penthouse Pet of the Year a serious run for her money, as this woman is the complete definition of "Sexy"...she spends most of the film sunbathing in flimsy bikinis that drive the lust crazy sailors mad...handsome Dak manages to seduce her once, but simply cannot get enough, and Andi is doomed to a very erotic fate...also great scenery, and an interesting plot with the snakes....watch for the underwater cavern scene, and keep a bucket of ice water handy!....highly recommended!

Richard Tyson is a God, but this is not his best movie.
I am a major Richard Tyson fan and try to see all of his movies; however, this one was kind of a disappointment. Besides the fact that he wasn't in it much, the story was not the greatest. With the exception of a very erotic love scene in an undergound cavern with millions of candles on the rocks, the rest of the movie can be cut out.

Visually artistic and wonderful settings.
I have seen Dark Tide, and I must say that it is a great "Visual" for women. The story line is different, and I do think that most men would enjoy it. There is one great scene when Richard Tyson and his lover are in a deep cavern making love in the water. I wish I knew how they got thoes camera's down there. That scene makes the whole movie worth it! It is a little paradise that I would love to be a part of! ... Read more

Reviews (3)

The sexiest film of the early nineties!
Dark Tide is without a doubt, simply the most erotic film to come out of the action adventure genre since the seventies "Emmannuelle" series, and this would have fit in well with that series of sexploitation films...Richard Tyson is cast once again as the powerful bad guy, and the plot concerns a young innocent pair of newlyweds trying to capture deadly sea snakes in order to sell the expensive venom..But it is Brigitte Bako cast as sensual Andi, who steals the show..Andi would give any Penthouse Pet of the Year a serious run for her money, as this woman is the complete definition of "Sexy"...she spends most of the film sunbathing in flimsy bikinis that drive the lust crazy sailors mad...handsome Dak manages to seduce her once, but simply cannot get enough, and Andi is doomed to a very erotic fate...also great scenery, and an interesting plot with the snakes....watch for the underwater cavern scene, and keep a bucket of ice water handy!....highly recommended!

Richard Tyson is a God, but this is not his best movie.
I am a major Richard Tyson fan and try to see all of his movies; however, this one was kind of a disappointment. Besides the fact that he wasn't in it much, the story was not the greatest. With the exception of a very erotic love scene in an undergound cavern with millions of candles on the rocks, the rest of the movie can be cut out.

Visually artistic and wonderful settings.
I have seen Dark Tide, and I must say that it is a great "Visual" for women. The story line is different, and I do think that most men would enjoy it. There is one great scene when Richard Tyson and his lover are in a deep cavern making love in the water. I wish I knew how they got thoes camera's down there. That scene makes the whole movie worth it! It is a little paradise that I would love to be a part of! ... Read more

Reviews (5)

Ghoulish Amusement...
A
young inheritor named Jonathan comes into possession of a stately mansion which contains many secrets, inclusive of those kept by his mysterious father, who said to be involved with The Occult, who ran his cult from within the recesses of his house.

The movie begins with a scene of ritual taking place, complete with a huge Pentagram behind The Altar, and a Goetic sigil of Belial on the mantle, in which an infant sacrifice is to take place, which is actually that of The Sorcerer's son, because he fears that one day he will turn to the light and grow to overtake him. He commands one of the robed cultists to come forth with the infant, but she dares disobey, considering the horror of murdering a child; The Sorcerer enraged, telekinetically tears the heart from her chest. He then orders another member to leave his midst after an energy field surrounding the boy resists the death-strike. And so the kindly, though somewhat 'touched' old man sets to raise him as his own unto manhood. Upon maturity, he sets to explore the mansion, and begins finding elements of his father's legacy - in the library, books on Black Magic, ritual tools, personal artifacts such as several medallions, a conjuring staff, and a robe. Bit by bit his natural interests beckon him to experiment with The Dark Arts, with a cover desire to "know what his father was all about", whenever his newlywed wife bids him to be more reticent in uncovering the nefarious rites. But his curiosity drives him on - and then he discovers The Ritual Chambre, and begins making the necessary preparations which yields him almost immediate Power, most noticeable by his glowing green eyes, which in this case, denotes his oneness with The Forces of Darkness. His wife becomes increasingly frightened by his evilution until finally, she decides to leave when he devotes his life to the persuit of The Occult rites. But he invokes his two imps from a Magic Circle to do his bidding, and she is consequently under his complete control.

Next, he invites a few of his friends to attend a feast and revery. Two fool-hearty stoners, a pretentious and 'cocky' guy named Dick {but you can call him "Dick"}, and two vapid girls.

But there was a purpose for them all being there that night beyond the mere dinner and party. They are all to take the place of those cultists for the Necromantic summoning of The Master Warlock. They are all placed under a spell, various imps {"ghoulies"} are called forth, and with everyone's united call, The Sorcerer is brought up from the grave located on the property, which displays a really nice gravestone with a Pentagram crowning it. Afterwards, the spell is temporarily lifted, and they are prepared by going down to the basement as sort of a party ruse, likened playing with a Ouija board for kicks, and Jonathan decides to open a book to conduct a rite from therein, but what they do not know, is this is yet another preparatory procedure to place them in the proper frame of mind of what is to come. A triangle is drawn upon the floor, and the ubiquitous ceremonial magician blindlight garbage of calling forth the name of jehovah in hebrew inunciated 'J H V H' {"joh-heh-vau-heh"} turning clockwise, but of course, the group do not take it seriously, and mock with such things as 'the hokey-pokey', and one of the moronic girls even screams in jest. Quite a pathetic lot. After waiting a little while, it is determined that nothing will occur, so they all decide to return to the kitchen for more beer and marijuana. Unbeknownst to them, the ghoulies appear in the conjuring trigram and are released to roam the grounds.

Bit by bit, the 'ghoulies', which are essentially elementals, manifest one by one to cause havoc and spill the sacrificial blood until all of the guests are transformed into spechtrous participants in a hellish ceremony. The Master Warlock then sets out to reclaim his position as Prime Magician. First by entering the house with a mighty yell to stir the ethers, and one final sacrifice to bring him fully into the flesh, for at this point he resembles a decaying zombie - but with the application of a little transmogrification, a willing victim comes along - "Dick" - the strutting, boorish macho-man fooled by the Sorcerer's illusion of that of a beautiful seductress, followed by a deep kiss - the next thing which occurs, is he finds himself with a tentacle-tongue wrapped around his neck - and the next sacrifice is taken. So he is restored to full vitality, and heads straight to The Altar, where he reclaims his rightful place as Lord of The Manor.
So father and son eventually come face to face - a memorable line spoken by The Sorcerer comes to the fore - "I must admit you show promise, but at your age, I was much...better." A line I know too well. The battle is on, and the son is defeated, as he slowly sinks into The Abyss, but is rescued surprisingly by The Old Man in full ritual garb, who takes over the battle, so he and The Warlock battle Magically until someone is victorious. I will leave it up to the viewer to discern who, for it is actually unclear.

Considered a "B-Movie" by the masses, Ghoulies is highly entertaining, replete with occult themes, and quite comical at times, which makes it a favorite. Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P. conducted a portion of the soundtrack for the sequal, which, in this reviewer's opinion, is not as amusing as this first film gem.

5 out of 5 Goat Skulls.

One of the worst movies ever!
Unbelievably awful. Don't be fooled-the ghoulies are hardly in the movie. And when they finally show up for about one minute, it's just sad. The ghoulie effects are pathetic. Avoid at all costs!

BEST MOVIE EVER
All I have to say is WOW. If you only see one movie this year, make it this unbelievably spellbinding horror-thriller about Jonathan Graves, son of Malcolm (the evil one), who calls upon the forces of evil, creating small mucus-covered muppet-type creatures. GHOULIES is the ultimate battle between good and evil. Brilliantly scripted and perfectly cast, the movie gives viewers plenty to think about. It addresses such topics as the supernatural, power, midgets, and parent-child relationships from a fresh and unconventional perspective. Peter Liapis's performance as Jonathan brilliantly juxtaposes the two conflicting sides of Jonathan's personality. If 6 out of 5 stars was an option, ghoulies would have received that honor, no question. Do yourself and all your friends a favor, RENT IT TODAY, or better yet, buy it. You will have no regrets.

funny and rememorable
its funny, the ghoulies are cute and funny and they remind me of my 6th grade teacher. I've only seen the first one, and would prefer NOT to see the sequels. The ghoulies act and behave, even sound like most of the gremlins. Unlike the gremlins, the ghoulies kill more and i belive are more evil. there were more killings then gremlins, but i just loved the part when the ghoulie popped out of the well.

GHOULIES HELL YEAH!!!!
This has to be one of the best movies I've ever seen! But the only problem with it is it's extremely out of print!:( But anyway the movie is awesome so here's a chance to buy it used. So what are you waiting for? Click that mouse or move your...up to buy it used.If you lke lots horror movies this is a must for your colection! As well as 2 other sequels but uh don't buy the forth one unless you are not looking for a horror movie. only buy it if you want to have the whole collection or you want a good laugh. ... Read more

Reviews (16)

Finely aged cheese.
For fans of campy cult movies, this is a godsend. Toni Basil as a horny vampire mom! Thomas Dolby as a vampire-hunting coffin salesman! Bo Diddley as himself! Not to mention the simple fact that this is an 80's rock Vampire Musical!

Oh, man . . . no one would confuse this with a good movie, but you can laught at it and with it. The filmmakers were obviously going for cheese, and they hit it right on the money. Dean Cameron (with his eyebrows in a supporting role) plays a sensitive vampire who's cursed to fall in love with a girl once every century, only to have a peglegged pirate beat her to death with a hambone every time. Can he break the curse this time? Can he become the world's first rock 'n' roll 'n' rap vampire?

So much to love here. The songs, first and foremost: elaborate production numbers of howlingly so-bad-they're-good 80's tunes and even some that were *meant* to be funny and are. Cameron's wise-cracking mirror reflection, who may be the ghost of Elvis. Cameron's bat transformation -- a two-foot tall, flatulent goblin.

I could go on and on. If you're looking for Citizen Kane or Schindler's List, keep looking. But if you like Rocky Horror, Spinal Tap, and the like, snap this one up.

Rockula Rocks!!
Yes, it really is a dumb movie, but so what? Not all movies are "Gone with the Wind," or "Titanic" or the like. Rockula has goofy characters and a nutty plot. However, this movie does have one redeeming thing: it has some kicking music, with a particularly wicked performance by Toni Basil called "The Night." And, for those who find humor in such things, it's worth it just to see Bo Diddley in high top sneakers, biker shorts, a tank top, a yellow cape, and wire bats on springs waving around his head.

They evidently did not come out with a sound track for this movie, and that's a shame. If there is a sound track out there, I hope someone lets me know where to find it. I've looked all over the place, and have yet to locate it.

Who cares if the movie's dopey? Watch it for the tunes!!!

Get this
I belive Rockula is probly one of the best 80s movies I would put it up there with pretty in pink and st elmos fire Dean camron also did another movie called ski patrol and its sequal how ever the soundtrack is nonexistant the company that put out the movie went under it was bought out but the soundtrack was thrown out So in short for thoughs that miss the 80s and dream of returning or for thoughs that only dream of the 80s this movie is for you It also has toni Basil (And shes not a bad looking woman even now)

Rockula Rocks me!
Great fun-time movie with a (repeatedly) doomed love affair between an long-lived vampire and his perpetually reincarnated girl friend.

Can Rockula break the never-ending lost-love loop and find true love?

Turn the stereo up, get the popcorn ready, and start smiling.

Uh-huh-huh.

Do not be deceived, this is one of the worst movies ever.
This is my warning to anyone who might be considering purchasing this movie or even entertaining the thought of trying to watch it. Despite the fact that I am well aware that Mr. Luca Bercovici was also responsible for inflicting Ghoulies on the world, I let my love of Bo Diddley [pull] me into buying this monster. Unless you are curious as to what Mr. Diddley looks like in yellow spandex, I would not suggest purchasing this movie. He doesn't really perform in it at all. He noodles around on the guitar for a couple seconds, and that is it. The movie features an awful plot that was probably the result of a case of beer, a lot of nachos, and sleep deprivation. This is also one of the most dated films I have ever sat through. You are forced to stomach many badly lip- and instrument-synched eighties-style songs. Plus, as an added bonus, they totally butcher Bo Diddley's "Mona" at the end. All I can say is that Bo Diddley must have really been hard up for money back then. If you are looking for a GOOD eighties/teenage/horror/comedy movie, I would suggest either of the Teen Wolf movies, Monster Squad, My Best Friend is a Vampire, Once Bitten, etc. PLEASE, stay away from this. You have been warned. Ewwwwww. ... Read more

Reviews (5)

Ghoulish Amusement...
A
young inheritor named Jonathan comes into possession of a stately mansion which contains many secrets, inclusive of those kept by his mysterious father, who said to be involved with The Occult, who ran his cult from within the recesses of his house.

The movie begins with a scene of ritual taking place, complete with a huge Pentagram behind The Altar, and a Goetic sigil of Belial on the mantle, in which an infant sacrifice is to take place, which is actually that of The Sorcerer's son, because he fears that one day he will turn to the light and grow to overtake him. He commands one of the robed cultists to come forth with the infant, but she dares disobey, considering the horror of murdering a child; The Sorcerer enraged, telekinetically tears the heart from her chest. He then orders another member to leave his midst after an energy field surrounding the boy resists the death-strike. And so the kindly, though somewhat 'touched' old man sets to raise him as his own unto manhood. Upon maturity, he sets to explore the mansion, and begins finding elements of his father's legacy - in the library, books on Black Magic, ritual tools, personal artifacts such as several medallions, a conjuring staff, and a robe. Bit by bit his natural interests beckon him to experiment with The Dark Arts, with a cover desire to "know what his father was all about", whenever his newlywed wife bids him to be more reticent in uncovering the nefarious rites. But his curiosity drives him on - and then he discovers The Ritual Chambre, and begins making the necessary preparations which yields him almost immediate Power, most noticeable by his glowing green eyes, which in this case, denotes his oneness with The Forces of Darkness. His wife becomes increasingly frightened by his evilution until finally, she decides to leave when he devotes his life to the persuit of The Occult rites. But he invokes his two imps from a Magic Circle to do his bidding, and she is consequently under his complete control.

Next, he invites a few of his friends to attend a feast and revery. Two fool-hearty stoners, a pretentious and 'cocky' guy named Dick {but you can call him "Dick"}, and two vapid girls.

But there was a purpose for them all being there that night beyond the mere dinner and party. They are all to take the place of those cultists for the Necromantic summoning of The Master Warlock. They are all placed under a spell, various imps {"ghoulies"} are called forth, and with everyone's united call, The Sorcerer is brought up from the grave located on the property, which displays a really nice gravestone with a Pentagram crowning it. Afterwards, the spell is temporarily lifted, and they are prepared by going down to the basement as sort of a party ruse, likened playing with a Ouija board for kicks, and Jonathan decides to open a book to conduct a rite from therein, but what they do not know, is this is yet another preparatory procedure to place them in the proper frame of mind of what is to come. A triangle is drawn upon the floor, and the ubiquitous ceremonial magician blindlight garbage of calling forth the name of jehovah in hebrew inunciated 'J H V H' {"joh-heh-vau-heh"} turning clockwise, but of course, the group do not take it seriously, and mock with such things as 'the hokey-pokey', and one of the moronic girls even screams in jest. Quite a pathetic lot. After waiting a little while, it is determined that nothing will occur, so they all decide to return to the kitchen for more beer and marijuana. Unbeknownst to them, the ghoulies appear in the conjuring trigram and are released to roam the grounds.

Bit by bit, the 'ghoulies', which are essentially elementals, manifest one by one to cause havoc and spill the sacrificial blood until all of the guests are transformed into spechtrous participants in a hellish ceremony. The Master Warlock then sets out to reclaim his position as Prime Magician. First by entering the house with a mighty yell to stir the ethers, and one final sacrifice to bring him fully into the flesh, for at this point he resembles a decaying zombie - but with the application of a little transmogrification, a willing victim comes along - "Dick" - the strutting, boorish macho-man fooled by the Sorcerer's illusion of that of a beautiful seductress, followed by a deep kiss - the next thing which occurs, is he finds himself with a tentacle-tongue wrapped around his neck - and the next sacrifice is taken. So he is restored to full vitality, and heads straight to The Altar, where he reclaims his rightful place as Lord of The Manor.
So father and son eventually come face to face - a memorable line spoken by The Sorcerer comes to the fore - "I must admit you show promise, but at your age, I was much...better." A line I know too well. The battle is on, and the son is defeated, as he slowly sinks into The Abyss, but is rescued surprisingly by The Old Man in full ritual garb, who takes over the battle, so he and The Warlock battle Magically until someone is victorious. I will leave it up to the viewer to discern who, for it is actually unclear.

Considered a "B-Movie" by the masses, Ghoulies is highly entertaining, replete with occult themes, and quite comical at times, which makes it a favorite. Blackie Lawless of W.A.S.P. conducted a portion of the soundtrack for the sequal, which, in this reviewer's opinion, is not as amusing as this first film gem.

5 out of 5 Goat Skulls.

One of the worst movies ever!
Unbelievably awful. Don't be fooled-the ghoulies are hardly in the movie. And when they finally show up for about one minute, it's just sad. The ghoulie effects are pathetic. Avoid at all costs!

BEST MOVIE EVER
All I have to say is WOW. If you only see one movie this year, make it this unbelievably spellbinding horror-thriller about Jonathan Graves, son of Malcolm (the evil one), who calls upon the forces of evil, creating small mucus-covered muppet-type creatures. GHOULIES is the ultimate battle between good and evil. Brilliantly scripted and perfectly cast, the movie gives viewers plenty to think about. It addresses such topics as the supernatural, power, midgets, and parent-child relationships from a fresh and unconventional perspective. Peter Liapis's performance as Jonathan brilliantly juxtaposes the two conflicting sides of Jonathan's personality. If 6 out of 5 stars was an option, ghoulies would have received that honor, no question. Do yourself and all your friends a favor, RENT IT TODAY, or better yet, buy it. You will have no regrets.

funny and rememorable
its funny, the ghoulies are cute and funny and they remind me of my 6th grade teacher. I've only seen the first one, and would prefer NOT to see the sequels. The ghoulies act and behave, even sound like most of the gremlins. Unlike the gremlins, the ghoulies kill more and i belive are more evil. there were more killings then gremlins, but i just loved the part when the ghoulie popped out of the well.

GHOULIES HELL YEAH!!!!
This has to be one of the best movies I've ever seen! But the only problem with it is it's extremely out of print!:( But anyway the movie is awesome so here's a chance to buy it used. So what are you waiting for? Click that mouse or move your...up to buy it used.If you lke lots horror movies this is a must for your colection! As well as 2 other sequels but uh don't buy the forth one unless you are not looking for a horror movie. only buy it if you want to have the whole collection or you want a good laugh. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

Oh, The Humanity!
Don't you just love a good science fiction/action film? You know, one of those movies about a bunch of people zooming around the cosmos in a spaceship who suddenly find themselves in some type of trouble requiring them to land on an unfriendly planet, asteroid, base, moon, or some other celestial body? If you do love those types of movies, and I know I do, then avoid "Convict 762" like the plague. Oh, this movie follows the formula to a T, but "Convict 762" ranks as one of the most boring, illogical, downright idiotic science fiction films to come across my television screen in some time (and that's saying A LOT). Why anyone made this straight to video clunker is beyond me. Somebody named Luca Bercovici directed this dreck, just in case you want to know who is to blame for this nearly two-hour catastrophe. Yep, "Convict 762" is that bad, failing on nearly every level of moviemaking imaginable.

The plot: a shipload of ladies flying through space accidentally, due to the incompetence of a crew member, flies into an asteroid field where the ship loses a large amount of its fuel in a collision. Since they no longer have enough power to get back to base, the captain of the vessel, named Niles and played by Shannon Sturges, decides to land at a penal colony in order to repair and refuel the ship. There is a lot of grumbling about this decision, with some blather about other ships avoiding this place like the plague, but Niles throws caution to the wind and heads into disaster. As the ship drifts down to the prison, the crewmembers spot two guys fighting each other in weird spacesuits. Failing to raise anyone on the radio, intrepid Captain Niles continues on, managing to break up the fight by bumping one of the guys with the space ship (!) before landing. Soon there is some story about a prison riot resulting in massive fatalities because "convict 762" went on a rampage. References made throughout the movie speak about how this convict is beyond human in his capacity for killing, he's death, he's disease, and all that stuff. Needless to say, Niles and company pick up both of these guys without any idea which one is 762. That's what the whole movie revolves around: who is convict 762 and will the crew discover the truth before he goes on another killing spree.

The biggest problem with "Convict 762," apart from the terrible acting, atrocious script, molasses-like pacing, and cheesy CGI effects, is the infinite stupidity shown by Niles and the crew. This movie simply possesses no logic to speak of, as Niles repeatedly makes decisions that are the height of idiocy. When the killings start, she blithely sends crewmembers off to their deaths by letting people separate from the group. One member of the ship's crew is a real troublemaker, but Niles continually lets her roam about so she can cause further havoc on her fellow shipmates. The worst decision Niles makes occurs at the end of the film, and is so moronic that I simply could not believe my eyes. It is obvious the director threw this in just so the film could have a little nudity. "Convict 762" reeks of inanity from top to bottom.

The question that continually arose in my mind while I watched this movie (it should have been "why am I watching this?") was why Billy Drago agreed to co-star in this wretched project. If you are familiar with Drago, and you will be as soon as you see him, he always plays great onscreen villains. In "Convict 762," he plays Mannix, one of the guys Niles picks up from the penal colony. Usually, Drago is fascinating to watch, but here he is largely wasted in an unsatisfying role. By the way, how is it possible for Mannix to be on fire for nearly five minutes and then suddenly arise, ready for combat? Maybe I should not ask questions that have no answers. The other guy character, Frank Zagarino, is downright offensive to even the basest sensibilities in the role of Vigo. In fact, every character endlessly grated on my nerves. There is a scene in one of the "Wayne's World" films where Garth hears a Kenny G song and undergoes a flashback about a painful trip to the dentist. When I think about "Convict 762" now, I have a slightly different type of flashback, a flashback to grade school when a fellow student raked his fingernails down a chalkboard. That's the only sensation I can equate with viewing "Convict 762."

Will Niles and company escape the wrath of convict 762? I didn't care if anyone made it in the end and neither will you after surviving this film. Actually, I would rather fight convict 762 armed only with a Q-Tip than watch this movie again. This picture is just a bad, unentertaining quagmire of a movie that should deeply offend anyone who appreciates the science fiction genre. There are good, low budget sci-fi films out there, but one usually has to wade through movies like this to find them. What a shame.

Drago Menacing As Ever in "Convict"
Actor Billy Drago (Deadly Heros, Freeway) has been making movies since the 80's. He is type-casted as a subtle psychotic killer with unique behaviors that he has made his signature. For fans, he is a guaranteed good time in the bizarre behavior department. He remains true to his craft in "Convict 762". The movie has good casting, Frank Zagarino (Never Say Die) and Shannon Sturges (Tornado!), who use their air time well in this deadly game of cat-and-mouse. There's good action in this low-budget sci-fi thriller and it keeps the viewer entertained and wondering what's what. This movie is worth the time and a must have for Mr. Drago fans and sci-fi lovers.

A so-so sci-fi thriller that's 20 minutes too long
'Convict 762' centers on a scavenger starship crew that consists entirely of beautiful women that's forced to seek out a penal colony (insert pun here) in order to refuel. They discover the colony has been all but destroyed by a riot, and that one of the two surviving men is a dangerous prisoner known as Convict 762. The heroines and the plot stumble along from this point.

While 'Convict 762' has okay special effects and set construction for what is most assuredly a low-budget effort, pretty good actiing all around, and delivers some tense moments, these positives are overwhelmed by insipid dialogue and characters who behave in such idiotic fashion that there is no doubt they are natural blondes.

Of course, characters behaving stupidly in movies where monsters and killers are stalking them is not unusual for a film. However, 'Convict 762' goes well beyond the boundaries of what is typically found. One of the main characters behaves so stupidly in the last 10-20 minutes of the film that I knocked a star off for it.

If you think you might enjoy a film that's an 'Alien'-light packed with braless women in tank-tops but burdened with a failed effort to deliver a Message, you might consider ordering this one. However, I advise you to stop the tape after the scene in sickbay, following the fight in the cargo bay and just picture in your mind's eye that the space ship takes off and flies away. While you'll miss a gratuitous love scene, you will come away with a much better impression of how good this film is.

Watch it to the end at your own peril. You'll never get those minutes of your life back. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

Woops, almost missed this one.
This movie was not well received, but I'm glad I didnt get suckered in by the bad press. The story centers around a set of stolen plates for printing US currency. Perfect plates...and everybody wants them, including the feds.

Strong ensemble cast carries a fairly clever story. I mean, how can you go wrong with Hopper/Madsen/Ice- T/Roberts/Forsythe et.al. And if you think these guys are miscast, maybe you're missing the humor. Eric Roberts is hilarious as an obvious southern transplant that leans heavily on his best guinea accent when he "tries" to be tough. And Sasha Mitchell from the old Dallas clan is hysterical as his hulking moronic bonebreaker. You gotta believe that Ice-T's not acting when he threatens to go to work on a couple of the boys with a "blowtorch and vice-grips." Hopper is a rare talent that can make a living playing himself, and Madsen is as menacing and strange as ever as a "just how connected is this guy" loanshark. I loved it. OK, this film begs for an alternate ending but otherwise a fun ride. Doesn't deserve the criticism. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

A Great Movie!!!
This is a great thriller that exemplifies the survival skills that Busey is forced to employ as he is fighting for right as well as for his own life. Everyone should see this movie. ... Read more

Description

Sam (Angie Everhart) is a bright, young college student with a promising future when she suddenly finds herself in the middle of her boyfriend, Jed's (Brian Wimmer), half-million dollar robbery. During the heist things go terribly wrong when Jed shoots a security guard. Sam rushes to the security guards aid only to be shot herself by her ruthless boyfriend, who takes the money and runs.

Taking the fall rather than turn Jed in, Sam serves hard jail time. Four years later, she is released and determined to seek revenge.

D.A. cop, Joe Massa (James Russo), who has followed Sam's story, offers to help get her man, but only on one condition -- that she helps him get his --Jed's powerful and vindictive boss Mr. Venti (Eric Roberts), the head of a major crime ring. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

good action movie
I confirm other positive reviews about this work...
The best moments are clearly those where Ms.Everhart is engaged in action shoots (I think that Angie should exploit more this kind of role than those ones played in psycho-thrillers like the most recent The Last Cry... le physique est avec elle... in every sense) yet I'd have liked the captivity part to be a little developed... 5/10 min would have been enough and not have compromised the budget (IMO).

ps: actually I must admit that the first reason for me to rent this movie has been the presence of Angie "Redhot" Everhart but I've not been disappointed... bear in mind that this is the first movie of her I've seen where she has been wearing her dresses... full time... and that's is a compliment by me.

bittersweet
An excellent movie, Angie Everhart was a Refreshing departure from the normal helpless female, a sharp intelligent lady with a lot of positive mental attitude, More of the same Please!! ... Read more

Reviews (3)

Oh, The Humanity!
Don't you just love a good science fiction/action film? You know, one of those movies about a bunch of people zooming around the cosmos in a spaceship who suddenly find themselves in some type of trouble requiring them to land on an unfriendly planet, asteroid, base, moon, or some other celestial body? If you do love those types of movies, and I know I do, then avoid "Convict 762" like the plague. Oh, this movie follows the formula to a T, but "Convict 762" ranks as one of the most boring, illogical, downright idiotic science fiction films to come across my television screen in some time (and that's saying A LOT). Why anyone made this straight to video clunker is beyond me. Somebody named Luca Bercovici directed this dreck, just in case you want to know who is to blame for this nearly two-hour catastrophe. Yep, "Convict 762" is that bad, failing on nearly every level of moviemaking imaginable.

The plot: a shipload of ladies flying through space accidentally, due to the incompetence of a crew member, flies into an asteroid field where the ship loses a large amount of its fuel in a collision. Since they no longer have enough power to get back to base, the captain of the vessel, named Niles and played by Shannon Sturges, decides to land at a penal colony in order to repair and refuel the ship. There is a lot of grumbling about this decision, with some blather about other ships avoiding this place like the plague, but Niles throws caution to the wind and heads into disaster. As the ship drifts down to the prison, the crewmembers spot two guys fighting each other in weird spacesuits. Failing to raise anyone on the radio, intrepid Captain Niles continues on, managing to break up the fight by bumping one of the guys with the space ship (!) before landing. Soon there is some story about a prison riot resulting in massive fatalities because "convict 762" went on a rampage. References made throughout the movie speak about how this convict is beyond human in his capacity for killing, he's death, he's disease, and all that stuff. Needless to say, Niles and company pick up both of these guys without any idea which one is 762. That's what the whole movie revolves around: who is convict 762 and will the crew discover the truth before he goes on another killing spree.

The biggest problem with "Convict 762," apart from the terrible acting, atrocious script, molasses-like pacing, and cheesy CGI effects, is the infinite stupidity shown by Niles and the crew. This movie simply possesses no logic to speak of, as Niles repeatedly makes decisions that are the height of idiocy. When the killings start, she blithely sends crewmembers off to their deaths by letting people separate from the group. One member of the ship's crew is a real troublemaker, but Niles continually lets her roam about so she can cause further havoc on her fellow shipmates. The worst decision Niles makes occurs at the end of the film, and is so moronic that I simply could not believe my eyes. It is obvious the director threw this in just so the film could have a little nudity. "Convict 762" reeks of inanity from top to bottom.

The question that continually arose in my mind while I watched this movie (it should have been "why am I watching this?") was why Billy Drago agreed to co-star in this wretched project. If you are familiar with Drago, and you will be as soon as you see him, he always plays great onscreen villains. In "Convict 762," he plays Mannix, one of the guys Niles picks up from the penal colony. Usually, Drago is fascinating to watch, but here he is largely wasted in an unsatisfying role. By the way, how is it possible for Mannix to be on fire for nearly five minutes and then suddenly arise, ready for combat? Maybe I should not ask questions that have no answers. The other guy character, Frank Zagarino, is downright offensive to even the basest sensibilities in the role of Vigo. In fact, every character endlessly grated on my nerves. There is a scene in one of the "Wayne's World" films where Garth hears a Kenny G song and undergoes a flashback about a painful trip to the dentist. When I think about "Convict 762" now, I have a slightly different type of flashback, a flashback to grade school when a fellow student raked his fingernails down a chalkboard. That's the only sensation I can equate with viewing "Convict 762."

Will Niles and company escape the wrath of convict 762? I didn't care if anyone made it in the end and neither will you after surviving this film. Actually, I would rather fight convict 762 armed only with a Q-Tip than watch this movie again. This picture is just a bad, unentertaining quagmire of a movie that should deeply offend anyone who appreciates the science fiction genre. There are good, low budget sci-fi films out there, but one usually has to wade through movies like this to find them. What a shame.

Drago Menacing As Ever in "Convict"
Actor Billy Drago (Deadly Heros, Freeway) has been making movies since the 80's. He is type-casted as a subtle psychotic killer with unique behaviors that he has made his signature. For fans, he is a guaranteed good time in the bizarre behavior department. He remains true to his craft in "Convict 762". The movie has good casting, Frank Zagarino (Never Say Die) and Shannon Sturges (Tornado!), who use their air time well in this deadly game of cat-and-mouse. There's good action in this low-budget sci-fi thriller and it keeps the viewer entertained and wondering what's what. This movie is worth the time and a must have for Mr. Drago fans and sci-fi lovers.

A so-so sci-fi thriller that's 20 minutes too long
'Convict 762' centers on a scavenger starship crew that consists entirely of beautiful women that's forced to seek out a penal colony (insert pun here) in order to refuel. They discover the colony has been all but destroyed by a riot, and that one of the two surviving men is a dangerous prisoner known as Convict 762. The heroines and the plot stumble along from this point.

While 'Convict 762' has okay special effects and set construction for what is most assuredly a low-budget effort, pretty good actiing all around, and delivers some tense moments, these positives are overwhelmed by insipid dialogue and characters who behave in such idiotic fashion that there is no doubt they are natural blondes.

Of course, characters behaving stupidly in movies where monsters and killers are stalking them is not unusual for a film. However, 'Convict 762' goes well beyond the boundaries of what is typically found. One of the main characters behaves so stupidly in the last 10-20 minutes of the film that I knocked a star off for it.

If you think you might enjoy a film that's an 'Alien'-light packed with braless women in tank-tops but burdened with a failed effort to deliver a Message, you might consider ordering this one. However, I advise you to stop the tape after the scene in sickbay, following the fight in the cargo bay and just picture in your mind's eye that the space ship takes off and flies away. While you'll miss a gratuitous love scene, you will come away with a much better impression of how good this film is.

Watch it to the end at your own peril. You'll never get those minutes of your life back. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

The sexiest film of the early nineties!
Dark Tide is without a doubt, simply the most erotic film to come out of the action adventure genre since the seventies "Emmannuelle" series, and this would have fit in well with that series of sexploitation films...Richard Tyson is cast once again as the powerful bad guy, and the plot concerns a young innocent pair of newlyweds trying to capture deadly sea snakes in order to sell the expensive venom..But it is Brigitte Bako cast as sensual Andi, who steals the show..Andi would give any Penthouse Pet of the Year a serious run for her money, as this woman is the complete definition of "Sexy"...she spends most of the film sunbathing in flimsy bikinis that drive the lust crazy sailors mad...handsome Dak manages to seduce her once, but simply cannot get enough, and Andi is doomed to a very erotic fate...also great scenery, and an interesting plot with the snakes....watch for the underwater cavern scene, and keep a bucket of ice water handy!....highly recommended!

Richard Tyson is a God, but this is not his best movie.
I am a major Richard Tyson fan and try to see all of his movies; however, this one was kind of a disappointment. Besides the fact that he wasn't in it much, the story was not the greatest. With the exception of a very erotic love scene in an undergound cavern with millions of candles on the rocks, the rest of the movie can be cut out.

Visually artistic and wonderful settings.
I have seen Dark Tide, and I must say that it is a great "Visual" for women. The story line is different, and I do think that most men would enjoy it. There is one great scene when Richard Tyson and his lover are in a deep cavern making love in the water. I wish I knew how they got thoes camera's down there. That scene makes the whole movie worth it! It is a little paradise that I would love to be a part of! ... Read more