Reviews (2)

Thomasjohnperryman review
This is a Story about a boy called Simon, who has dreams of becoming a World famous Circus Clown. and stars Jill Perryman,
Earnie Dingo, Rebecca Smart, Niamo Hazelhurst, and more.
This Movie goes for aproxmately three hours, and has a part two,
This Movie is mostly filmed in Australia and France.
And is reckonmend for all the Family, and is a good comedy.
I give this a five star rating.

Great, though long movie. Kept my attention the whole time.
Good story of a boy's struggle to live his dream of becoming a clown. Set in Australia, it makes good use of local sites and customs. My 8-year-old niece was enthralled by the whole 3-hour movie. ... Read more

Reviews (8)

This movie is AWESOME
This movie is AWESOME! The action sizzles, the comedy will have you rolling, and Dennis Rodman stars! But what I like about it most are the philosophical underpinnings. This movie is the perfect metaphor for the postmodern hyperrealist fugue theory proposed by John L. Umblaut in the 1930's. The theory is a brand of religious existentialism except with Kantian overtones. Look it up on the internet if you want more information. This movie is great. Entertaining, funny, thought provoking. Two thumbs up...Way up!

So bad, it's great
Simon Sez is, more than anything else, a movie that [stinks]. It is, however, also a movie that isn't likely to irritate because of its badness.

The plot revolves around a bunch of totally over the top characters, one of them being Dennis Rodman... I mean, Simon (played by Rodman), an ex-CIA agent now working for Interpol (although I frankly doubt his are Interpol working methods). Simon works in a small town on the french coast and is helped by two monks of death who live under a church and seem to be equipped with very sophisticated electronics. Whether they are real monks or not is never explained but, then again, nothing is really explained in the movie itself.

Although Simon seems to be investigating on some kind of story about a kidnapped girl, it is only when a former friend, Nick enters the scene that he really gets involved in the whole thing, which turns to be almost a story of some kind of disc for some kind of secret weapon. I guess I can stop here because, quite frankly, the story is absurd and ridiculously illogical.

The characters in this movie are some of the most over-the-top I've ever seen. Nick, for instance, behaves like an idiot most of the time: in the first ten minutes, he imitates a dog and a raptor such in an unbelievable way and in unlikely situations, it would be an understatement to call it a joke. The evil guy himself is a ridiculous caricature, then there are the two monks who are the craziest idiots... well, aside of Nick. Rodman, on the other hand, is absolutely restrained in this movie. He says a few lines, and always with the same facial expressions (some kind of smirk). Then there's a girl who fights against Simon in the beginning, then starts fighting with him and finally sleeps with him. Who is she and what she's doing here is never answered.

The movie is definitely an action/comedy and does provide laughs, but I am really not sure that laughs come they way they were supposed to. To put it clear, most of the time, you laugh at the movie rather than with it. At the end, you will scratch your head, not quite believing what you just watched.

It is a bad movie. Very bad. But if you are a fan of bad movies, or if you are willing to have a lot of laughs with your friends, maybe while drinking some alcoholic beverages, you will find a lot to enjoy here.

In any other case, avoid like the plague.

So BAD So Good Action a la Hong Kong Movie
Watching "Simon Sez" is like reading a trashy comic book; like a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, you never think seriously about its plot or characters at all. You just enjoy the series of set-pieces such as not-so-bad action scenes with awful lines, and too obvious comic relief that is not as funny as moviemakers intended. Dennis Rodman always looks like Dennis Rodman, but if so, who cares?

Actually, thanks to the participation of Xin Xin Xiong (as action director and second unit stunt coordinator) from Hong Kong, action scenes are better than average. Xin Xin Xiong himself appears as a bodyguard, and displays his superb martial arts skills, but, you know, Rodman is no Jet Li (with whom Xiong collaborated during Ji's Hong Kong era). If you are a fan of Hong Kong action films, you might find "Simon Sez" more than passable. If you are not, well, give only one star and forget about it.

Nothing good
I can't find anything good to say about this movie. The acting is poor; the plot seems to have a mind of its own (like a 2-year-old's); the fighting scenes are some of the worst I've ever seen in a movie. They're so unrealistic, it's more like watching a cartoon. Dennis Rodman does seem to try, sometimes. Most of the time, he's just trying, unsucessfully, to be cool. Half of the characters in this thing seem to be there for comic relief. Seriously, half of them. It's that stupid. Don't pay money to see this movie. And don't EVEN consider buying it.

The Best Movie I Ever Saw.
All I have to say is that Rodman is the man for this movie. Because you got to admit he does whatever he wants whenever he wants however he wants, becasue he's Dennis Rodman. The fighting scene's are so spectacular that you will lose your breath trying to keep up with the movie. This movie should be up for an Academy Award for the best movie of the year. If you love Rodman, you will love this highly explosive movie. It 's as movie you will want to see. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Ever so Funny, if you like them bad
This movie was ever so funny. It's absolutely so bad it's good. Derek is her usual beautiful self and her acting is as flat as ever. If you're looking for Bo's famous nudity, you will need to look elsewhere, ... If you get this movie, just go with the flow. Enjoy the over the top gardener, the frequent pastoral dairy scenes. Watch Bo wax eloquent over a cow you would swear has Mad Cow Disease and chuckle after each deadpan romantic scene. But don't turn it off till the end. All this has worked you up for the total groaner of an ending. An outrageously stupid fight scene and . . . I'll leave you the pleasure and torment of the final minutes of the hilarious monstrosity.

Bo Derek - underated actress
Bo Derek shows here that she is an underated actress. Under the right direction, she is capable of giving a great performance. She is definitely due for a comeback. In this movie, she shows that she is capable of more than taking her clothes off. She should star in more romantic comedies. All she needs is the right script and right director. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Ever so Funny, if you like them bad
This movie was ever so funny. It's absolutely so bad it's good. Derek is her usual beautiful self and her acting is as flat as ever. If you're looking for Bo's famous nudity, you will need to look elsewhere, ... If you get this movie, just go with the flow. Enjoy the over the top gardener, the frequent pastoral dairy scenes. Watch Bo wax eloquent over a cow you would swear has Mad Cow Disease and chuckle after each deadpan romantic scene. But don't turn it off till the end. All this has worked you up for the total groaner of an ending. An outrageously stupid fight scene and . . . I'll leave you the pleasure and torment of the final minutes of the hilarious monstrosity.

Bo Derek - underated actress
Bo Derek shows here that she is an underated actress. Under the right direction, she is capable of giving a great performance. She is definitely due for a comeback. In this movie, she shows that she is capable of more than taking her clothes off. She should star in more romantic comedies. All she needs is the right script and right director. ... Read more

Reviews (8)

This movie is AWESOME
This movie is AWESOME! The action sizzles, the comedy will have you rolling, and Dennis Rodman stars! But what I like about it most are the philosophical underpinnings. This movie is the perfect metaphor for the postmodern hyperrealist fugue theory proposed by John L. Umblaut in the 1930's. The theory is a brand of religious existentialism except with Kantian overtones. Look it up on the internet if you want more information. This movie is great. Entertaining, funny, thought provoking. Two thumbs up...Way up!

So bad, it's great
Simon Sez is, more than anything else, a movie that [stinks]. It is, however, also a movie that isn't likely to irritate because of its badness.

The plot revolves around a bunch of totally over the top characters, one of them being Dennis Rodman... I mean, Simon (played by Rodman), an ex-CIA agent now working for Interpol (although I frankly doubt his are Interpol working methods). Simon works in a small town on the french coast and is helped by two monks of death who live under a church and seem to be equipped with very sophisticated electronics. Whether they are real monks or not is never explained but, then again, nothing is really explained in the movie itself.

Although Simon seems to be investigating on some kind of story about a kidnapped girl, it is only when a former friend, Nick enters the scene that he really gets involved in the whole thing, which turns to be almost a story of some kind of disc for some kind of secret weapon. I guess I can stop here because, quite frankly, the story is absurd and ridiculously illogical.

The characters in this movie are some of the most over-the-top I've ever seen. Nick, for instance, behaves like an idiot most of the time: in the first ten minutes, he imitates a dog and a raptor such in an unbelievable way and in unlikely situations, it would be an understatement to call it a joke. The evil guy himself is a ridiculous caricature, then there are the two monks who are the craziest idiots... well, aside of Nick. Rodman, on the other hand, is absolutely restrained in this movie. He says a few lines, and always with the same facial expressions (some kind of smirk). Then there's a girl who fights against Simon in the beginning, then starts fighting with him and finally sleeps with him. Who is she and what she's doing here is never answered.

The movie is definitely an action/comedy and does provide laughs, but I am really not sure that laughs come they way they were supposed to. To put it clear, most of the time, you laugh at the movie rather than with it. At the end, you will scratch your head, not quite believing what you just watched.

It is a bad movie. Very bad. But if you are a fan of bad movies, or if you are willing to have a lot of laughs with your friends, maybe while drinking some alcoholic beverages, you will find a lot to enjoy here.

In any other case, avoid like the plague.

So BAD So Good Action a la Hong Kong Movie
Watching "Simon Sez" is like reading a trashy comic book; like a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, you never think seriously about its plot or characters at all. You just enjoy the series of set-pieces such as not-so-bad action scenes with awful lines, and too obvious comic relief that is not as funny as moviemakers intended. Dennis Rodman always looks like Dennis Rodman, but if so, who cares?

Actually, thanks to the participation of Xin Xin Xiong (as action director and second unit stunt coordinator) from Hong Kong, action scenes are better than average. Xin Xin Xiong himself appears as a bodyguard, and displays his superb martial arts skills, but, you know, Rodman is no Jet Li (with whom Xiong collaborated during Ji's Hong Kong era). If you are a fan of Hong Kong action films, you might find "Simon Sez" more than passable. If you are not, well, give only one star and forget about it.

Nothing good
I can't find anything good to say about this movie. The acting is poor; the plot seems to have a mind of its own (like a 2-year-old's); the fighting scenes are some of the worst I've ever seen in a movie. They're so unrealistic, it's more like watching a cartoon. Dennis Rodman does seem to try, sometimes. Most of the time, he's just trying, unsucessfully, to be cool. Half of the characters in this thing seem to be there for comic relief. Seriously, half of them. It's that stupid. Don't pay money to see this movie. And don't EVEN consider buying it.

The Best Movie I Ever Saw.
All I have to say is that Rodman is the man for this movie. Because you got to admit he does whatever he wants whenever he wants however he wants, becasue he's Dennis Rodman. The fighting scene's are so spectacular that you will lose your breath trying to keep up with the movie. This movie should be up for an Academy Award for the best movie of the year. If you love Rodman, you will love this highly explosive movie. It 's as movie you will want to see. ... Read more

Reviews (3)

...finally find love, once married
Amusing European existential film, my husband was bored after the first few minutes. Old theme--marriage of convenience, misfortune plagues protagonists, jealousy, govt bureaucrats (& French ones, at that), money woes--and people finally make it to the big-time together, fall in love, consummate their marriage & then fly off into the sunset together. On the plus, good-looking & talented protagonists & supporting actors; on the minus side, over-long & over-the-top. For the American market, this film should have been trimmed down quite a bit!

Like "Greencard" With More Humor
A female comic must find a husband in order to stay in Paris and fullfill her dream of making it in comedy. What starts out as a marriage of convenience develops into a mutual attraction. A must see for hopeless romantics!

I like it!
This is a great comedy! Patsy Kensit needs a Husband, so she can stay in Paris. It's one problem after another - a load of laughs! I recommend it! ... Read more

Reviews (3)

...finally find love, once married
Amusing European existential film, my husband was bored after the first few minutes. Old theme--marriage of convenience, misfortune plagues protagonists, jealousy, govt bureaucrats (& French ones, at that), money woes--and people finally make it to the big-time together, fall in love, consummate their marriage & then fly off into the sunset together. On the plus, good-looking & talented protagonists & supporting actors; on the minus side, over-long & over-the-top. For the American market, this film should have been trimmed down quite a bit!

Like "Greencard" With More Humor
A female comic must find a husband in order to stay in Paris and fullfill her dream of making it in comedy. What starts out as a marriage of convenience develops into a mutual attraction. A must see for hopeless romantics!

I like it!
This is a great comedy! Patsy Kensit needs a Husband, so she can stay in Paris. It's one problem after another - a load of laughs! I recommend it! ... Read more