Amazon.com

With Geppetto, Disney takes a different, live-action spin on the Pinocchio story it immortalized in animation in 1940. Yes, there's still the wooden boy with the nose that grows when he tells a lie, but here there are no singing insects (and only a bit of whale), and the focus is on the toymaker, not the toy. Geppetto (Drew Carey) delights all the kids in town with his creations, but he longs for a son of his own. Enter the Blue Fairy (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), who turns Geppetto's puppet (Seth Adkins) into a living, breathing (albeit wooden) boy, but the thrill soon wears off when Geppetto learns that being a parent is harder than he thought.

Carey gives a winning performance as the struggling yet loving father, while Louis-Dreyfus is an attractive (though a bit too toothy) fairy, and both prove themselves solid singers. To create a new sound palette for this 2000 television production, Stephen Schwartz (Godspell, The Prince of Egypt) wrote eight appealing songs, ranging from the tender lament "Empty Heart" to the bouncy duet "Just Because It's Magic" to the bravura aria "Bravo, Stromboli," sung by Brent Spiner (best known as Star Trek: The Next Generation's Data but also a veteran of Broadway musicals). A good supporting cast and decent if somewhat modest special effects help make this an enjoyable family musical for ages 5 and older. --David Horiuchi ... Read more

Reviews (20)

AWESOME!
This movie was FANTASTIC! It was one of the best ABC movies ever. The music is wonderful! The acting is great. The costumes are cool! The scenery is awesome! And Drew Carey makes a great Geppetto. Julia Louis-Drifus is a great actor and makes a great Blue Fairy. Usher looks mayjorly fine in the movie! He is a great dancer and actor and has a nice body! This movie is magnificent and should be on again some time. I reccomend this to people of all ages because it is interesting how a man who wants to be a father and finally becomes one turns out to like all of the other parents. He just wants Pinochio to be safe. That's all.

The Best Gift I got for Christmas
Me and Krystle arose Christmas morning feeling good and very excited about our presents we continously awoke our parents who were dead asleep and around 6:00 we managed to wake them both and my sister. I first started out soft and I got a neat new soundtrack that I listen to a whole lot next thing I got was Prancer after I hugged that close to my chest and repeated thank you most likely several times I finally reached out for the last of seven presents I was thinking it would be some christmas film but I was T I totally wrong!! I asked Mom where in the world she got it she said she got it at Eckerd's and I think she said that she couldn't find it anywhere else the following day we went to my Grandma's I rushed into her room and quickly shoved the new tape into her VCR and I enjoyed and treasured every moment of this film. My sister Krystle is a very strong fan of Melissa Disney and when she saw her in the numbers Toys & Sasifaction Gurateed she was very happy to see her fave actress dancing and singing. I loved the number Pleasure Island but maybe that is because I loved every song in this film or maybe because that was the only song where I got to see some cute boys run around. I loved the appearance of Josh Sullivan and of course the ever so funny man and talent worthy Wayne Brady. I haven't watched it since Christmas but tonight after my sister falls asleep I want to try it out see if it can help me get some sleep and refresh my memory on the story. Anyway bottom line is it will make you cry and will mostly laugh throughout the whole film so treasure it cause out of all the ABC Wonderful World Of Disney films I've seen I believe that this one has to be the most cutest and heart raising one of them all!

Geppetto is a MUST
Geppetto is the sweetest, best acted movie I've ever seen. I am a HUGE (some call me obsessive) fan of Drew Carey and the talnted Wayne Brady. I watch the Drew Carey show and Whose Line so much, I may actually be turning into a hysterically laughing couch potato. I decided to watch geppetto to see Drew embarass himself. Afterwards, I couldn't believe I had thought he would. I had just seen the most amazing movie. I was surprised by Drew Carey excellent acting skills and voice. Boy, could he sing! I already knew Wayne would be a hit as the magician- he was quite funny. I continued to rent and rerent Geppetto for 2 years afterward. i still am in love with it. This movie is the best ever -- it's so sweet and funny, it gets you up when you're down. i can't live without this beautiful movie...or it's astoundingly talented star!

How clever!
What a great idea. To take a fairy tail and twist it around. It was wonderful. Have you ever wondered what Geppetto did while Pinocchio was away? Or how he got stuch in the belly of a whale? Or if he ever got upset with the blue fairy? All those questions and more are answered in this wonderfull musical your whole faily will enjoy for years to come. Buy it today!

This movie stinks!
This adaptation of the brilliant Pinocchio is a stinker! Geppetto (played by the minotonous Drew Carey) is the main character while his wooden boy Pinocchio (played by Seth Adkins) is portrayed as a bratty little loud rat! HE is selfish, bratty, loud, annoying, boring, and cliched! Then, Julia Louis Dreyfuss is the annoyingly perky and optimistic Blue Fairy. Finally, Brent Spiner plays a neurotic and paranoid Strombolli who is obsessed with his puppet who "talks." I would recommend that anyone with taste not view this. It is cliched and the jokes are completely annoying! ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Avast, me hearties! Thar be buccaneers in Nebraska!
Pirates of the Plain centers around a nine-year-old boy (Seth Adkins) with an overactive imagination. Whether it's shoot-outs with the James Gang or laser battles with alien robots, little Bobby's playmates seem so real to him. It frightens his mother (Dee Wallace Stone), while Bobby's grandpa (Charles Napier) thinks it's just Bobby's way of coping with not having many friends and a father that left two years prior. At the same time that Bobby's story unfolds, a pirate captain in 1732 called Jezebel Jack (Tim Curry) has run afowl of his crew of cutthroats. Jezebel Jack has a map to a king's ransom worth of treasure but he wants it all for himself. After killing a man who knew the captain wasn't willing to share, Jack is thrown overboard by the rest of the pirates, and ends up in the wheat fields of Nebraska near Bobby's family's farm! As the two unlikely friends go on a treasure hunt for a strong-box of silver bars hidden by wild west outlaws, the disgruntled crew of Jack's ship, Delilah, also ends up "sailing the amber waves of grain."

John Cherry, of Ernest "fame," acts as writor/director/producer of this family adventure film that will truly appeal not only to children but adults too. Tim Curry, as always, gives a great performance, while everyone has very well also. Good production values and a smartly written script makes this a worth-while buy to add to your pirate movie collection.

Finally released on DVD.
Pirates of the Plain is one of the best movies Tim Curry has
made. I am a huge fan of Mr. Curry, and am happy to finally own
this movie on DVD. If you are a big fan of Tim's you will definately love this movie.

A 9 year old boy, Bobby, is alone on his Nebraska farm when a nasty Pirate Captain, Jezabel Jack, falls through a time warp landing in present day Nebraska(on the same farm as the boy to be exact). Jezabel and Bobby have a good time looking for treasure until the crew of the Delilah fall through the same time warp, and end up on the Nebraska farm to seek vengance against their double crossing Captain. Cast includes: Tim Curry, Dee Wallace Stone (you might remember her from movies like E.T., and Cujo), Charles Napier, and Seth Adkins. Not only a must see Tim Curry performance, but also a very good family movie! Rated PG for some violence. See Tim as pirate Long John Silver in Muppet Treasure Island (another good one for Tim fans, and also another good family movie). ... Read more

Reviews (12)

excellent, informative, movie that you'll remember !!!
I wanted this movie because my friend suffers from the same dreadful disease, epilepsy...after seeing this movie as it debuted in 1997, I discussed it with my friends who didn't watch the show...I made it a point to remember this film, not knowing my friend back when I saw the film, however, remembering a classmate back in highschool, who I witnessed a grand-mal seizure, was the only epileptic person I've known...This movie is definitely, an eyeopener !! Meryl Streep was remarkable... as for the rest of the cast!!! Words can't tell you enough about these people !!! I can't wait to get this movie , just for the acknowledgments at the end of the film, hoping to find more information my friend, Angel, will benefit from...it's his only hope of alternative medicine that we've been able to research...Again, this movie will be one you'll remember !!! I've gone into hospitals, in their libraries, looking and hoping to find information on the keto-genic diet, which is the success story behind this great flick...nobody I spoke to, saw the movie when it debuted to even, help me with my search... And I tried some websites on the internet of some of the finest hospitals in the world...with not much success as what I discovered when viewing this movie...I can't tell you any more about the movie without giving away any of it's message...Thank you, Amazon.com, for helping me, help a firend !!!

Realistic and Gripping!
You will watch this movie and be unable to believe that it was made for television, it is so well done. A labor of love for director Jim Abrahams whose own son suffered from epilepsy helped by alternative medicine, this is the story of a farmer (Ward) and his wife (the ever wonderful Streep making a rare television appearance) whose youngest son, Robbie (Adkins) developes epilepsy. Michael Yarmush also fares well in his role as Robbie's older brother. Frank telling of a child's illness and its profound effect on a family.

Deja Vu
A friend from church loaned me this video to watch this weekend. She said when she saw it, it reminded her of us. I have a 5 year old son that has a seizure disorder (never diagnosed as epilepsy) yet no doctor has ever been able to figure out the cause. When he was 3 he went over 15 months without a seizure and was even taken off all seizure medication then almost 1 year later he started having multiple seizures of all types. He was hospitalized quite a bit within a 30 day period. He had all sorts of tests and they still couldn't figure anything out. One visit landed him in the PICU because he was having a focal seizure and quit breathing. Our lives were turned upside down.

Watching this movie was like watching re-runs of that time. The behavior issues from the new meds (which kept getting him sent home from school). He use to be in regular room Kindergarten and now he is in Special Ed full time. He was also taking 7 different prescriptions a day (this also because he is ADHD on top of this). 2 meds for seizures, 3 meds for ADHD and 2 meds to offset the affects of all of the other meds (way too many for liking) so we took him off of the 2 meds for the side affects.

My son was watching the part of the movie when the wheeled in the bed with the bubble top and he said "that's my bed!" Our hospital visits were nightmares because they had to pump him full of a valuum to stop the seizures but then he would be physically and verbally out of control for atleast 24 consecutive hours after he pulled out of his Postictal stage.

I just have to commend the producer of this movie for the work done because those who have never experienced this will never understand. This movie was more real than anyone will know. It not only addresses the medical part but the home environment and how hard it is. I have 2 daughters whose ages are comparable to Robbie's brother and sister and, yes, it was vey hard on them because everything we did from that point on revolved around my son.

We are one of the luckier ones because we have managed to get the worse seizures under control. He still has partials that cause him headaches, drowsiness, nauseousness, tremors and in a few cases his legs refused to hold him. I still don't think he is on the right medication and I don't know if the Ketogenic diet would be right for him, but for now he back at school and has a great teacher who works with him when he has his "episodes" and has to sleep for over an hour to recover during class. What I appreciate is the knowing that there is an alternative if the medications don't work, because I know my Pedicatric Neuroligst hasn't said a word to us about it.

My hat is off to you! Thank you.

You should see this film
After reading the above review from the medical student, I feel even more compelled to encourage people to see this film. The lesson taught by this film is simple - educate yourself and your family on health. Medicine has helped millions of people and will continue to do so. However, prescription medication is not the only solution! This film was disturbing, thought-provoking and emotional. It will make you smile, cry and get angry as hell.

A diatribe based on a (incomplete) true story
As a medical student working closely with pediatric and adult neurologists specializing in epilepsy, I felt like I needed to say something to level the thinking this movie seems to inspire in viewers. First, it is based on a true story. The true story, however, does not involve a family battling incredible odds and hardship in seeking treatment. It involves a wealthy Hollywood producer with no monetary restrictions and an epileptic child who was TEMPORARILY helped by the ketogenic diet. The movie doesn't go on to explain that after a time, his child regressed and suffered from more and more frequent seizures. The diet is not a cure-all that forever changed the child's life.

The ketogenic diet is not an "alternative" therapy. It pre-dates current anticonvulsive drugs by decades, when it was noted that starvation prevents seizures. That is the key word: starvation. It is an extremely rigid and difficult diet to maintain, and even the sugar from a cookie or piece of cake sneaked at a birthday party or school can negate all positive effect. When medications were developed that were far safer than those previously available and easier to stick to than the rigorous ketogenic diet, it fell out of favor. Of the many drugs available now, the vast majority of epileptics benefit greatly from either one or a combination of them. This, without the great ordeal of maintaining the ketogenic diet. It does, however, work for many who are able to stick to it with the great support of family, school, physicians, etc. But as with ANY treatment, it isn't perfect.

It's always important to approach these things with caution. From TV shows and movies, to books, even to scientific articles and texts, everything is colored by the creator's experiences and biases. This movie is one such example of artistic license and strong emotions clouding and distorting the portrayal of an important aspect of health care for individuals unfortunate enough to be affected with epilepsy. ... Read more

Reviews (16)

Oh dear...
Does not follow the book in the least. If it's supposed to be made from a classic story the least that could have been going on is trying to follow the book at least a little bit closer. Don't buy this. If I could give it zero stars, I would.

I bet Emily Bronte is rolling over in her grave! Poor thing. I would too.

No comparison to the book. At all.
I feel generous giving it simply one star...

This MTV interpretation focuses mostly on bland, mediocre romance and doesn't even hint at the original, dark themes of the book. The characters have been malformed into stereotypes, especially Heathcliff. Instead of a dark, unkempt boy, "Heath" is a Californian blonde who likes wearing dirty shirts but remains good-looking at the same time. Also note that he's not shown as violent or callous at all; they save all of that for Hindley, erm, "Hendrix." I wasn't impressed by the score, which amounted to about three or four unremarkable songs being played over and over.

In my opinion, it's not even worth renting. Watching a few pop videos will give you a pretty good idea of what it was like, without wasting as much time as the movie does.

Emily Bronte MTV Makeover!
I don't know what Emily Bronte, one of the best literary minds of all times, would have made of MTV's adaptation of her classic Wuthering Heights! Almost everything would have appeared alien to her, and imaginative guess work can only offer a very modest speculation about what she would have thought of fancy cars and rock music.But one thing is for sure, she would have certainly known the difference between mediocrity and creativity! And alas this newest and loosest of interpretations of her classic masterpiece of love, passion and betrayal would have made her wish she never wrote it in the first place.
Modern interpretations of classics are by no means a bad venture, as the examples of Baz Luhrmann's Romeo+Juliet and Alfonso Cuaron's Great Expectations clearly demonstrate,but the problem with the MTV's version of Bronte's classic is its mediocrity..just a plain, lifeless and average direction and acting. Had the film had a different title, and had MTV did not market it in an 'in your face hip, cool, trendy and young' way, then maybe it would have been much more bearable.
MTV's venture into the world of movie making has not been a glorious success so far, and simply because they are following the same approach and mental frame that they take in their musical and reality TV productions, and this is a big mistake.
Anyway, the overbearing and passionate Victorian world of Bronte and her dramatic but sadly short life were very much part of her work, yet her stories with their universal themes do indeed belong to all the ages, and make good movie material, if only the script, direction and acting are good enough to retain the spirit of the book, while infusing it with a modern outlook. The only success of MTV's Wuthering Heights was probably to turn one of the best writers of all time in her grave. Avoid!

good movie
Well this movie didn't follow the book at all, but it was enjoyable. The actors and actresses are good, and I like how they incorperated music into the story. If you are looking for a modern young love movie, than than this is for you. If you are looking for an exact replica of the book, than stay away from this. Over all it was enjoyable, and beautifully done.

MTV Need Assistance by Major Film Makers to Pilot Films
MTV I feel can generate great movies, but all they need to do is just get the help from the Major Film Makers from Hollywood USA.
I can just imagine if this Re-Make of Wuthering Heights was done by Steven Spielberg, Mel Gibson, or even Steven Soderbergh; i think that the results were going to be something else.

Erika Christensen is talented but she alone can't do it, she needs the Fine Director Starship in order to take the projects that she is in to new Heights. I would not mind watching this even though it is still not available where i am from.

It be nice if Swimfan 2 were made by MTV Films, i wonder how that would end; the conclusion to Madison Bell, and her pursuit for Benjamin Cronin.

As for this, i am going to go get it(wuthering heights CA) and see it, and i do hope it is good. If it is good, great if not well i am not going to bash it, but just accept it, besides Erika is in it.

Mike Vogel is on here too[on wuthering heights CA], he is a good actor, And he is also in Texas ChainSaw Massacre(the re-make 2003). A movie that did so well at the box office, i believe 80 million dollars.

Others movies that i recommend to all who read this review are the following: blue car[agnes bruckner-one beautiful voloptuous blonde], in hell[van damme], open range[kevin costner], dr schivago[remake with hans matheson and the beautiful slender keira knightley], reanimator[jeffrey combs], beyond reanimator[jeffrey combs], and home room[with the beautiful erika christensen].

great day from odessa. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

ON THE RUN WITH NO ONE LEFT TO TRUST
Traci Lords (you remeber her!) and The Candyman's Tony Todd lead an all-star cast in this edge-of-your seat thriller. After her husband dies mysteriously in hotel room, Kelly (Lords) and her son Matt return to the scene of the death in an effort to find closure to their pain. What they find however, is a conspiracy of greed and deceit that only brings more questions...and danger. While in the room cradling the very pillow that drowned out his father's death cries, six year old Matt begins to see the murder as it actually happened. Soon the killer discovers there was another witness to his crime - the child - and vows to silence him forever. With the killer closing in on them, Kelly must race against time to discover who she can trust...before it's too late. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Super Cute!
I hadn't heard of this movie, but my husband got it for my little girl who loves monkey's and this movie is funny and really cute. Fun for the whole family!

All monkey, no funky.
Look at the box for this movie. Isn't that just the happiest monkey you've seen since Diddy Kong? Dispite being in a combat suit, he's happy, and waving towards the viewer. That's the monkey on the box. The monkey in the movie however, is a total jerk, and not funky in the slightest bit. Yeah, this is a kid's movie. But I fail to see what kind of kid this movie's for. Segments with the monkey doing things are drawn out, almost like something should've happened a few times before it actually does. Add in yet another side-story about a boy who gets a dad during this misadventure (I seem to be seeing tons of those lately), and you have one of the most trite things to come out of Hollywood. C'mon Warner Bros., I expected more from you guys. EvenGilbert Gottfried's short appearence couldn't help this movie in the slightest bit.

The movie starts out with two guys breaking into a building of some sort. What it exactly is, we're not sure. But they enter a room from the ceiling Mission Impossible-style, just dangling above security lasers, in attempt to steal a crystal banana. Enter the monkey: Clemens (because that's the best name for a monkey). He's with them, and drops a banana through the lasers, which sets off the security system. All hell breaks loose, and the secuity guards enter, but are all taken out by a guy in a monkey suit. Literally. Clemens magically doubles in size, his legs are much longer, and he's taking out everyone like Nancy Carrigan. He and the two others escape back to headquarters where Clemens is put away for future testing. His partner, McCall, won't have this, and frees Clemens by driving a motorcycle through a huge window directly in front of Clemens' cell. Great room placement there. 8 minutes into the movie, the opening credits are still rolling in, and we're wondering what's going on. It turns out that Flick, the guy in charge of the place Clemens was being held, is making super simian soldiers. Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds. Apparently, Clemens is the only one that's been a success, as we never see the other monkeys until later on in the movie. McCall and the monkey make way towards a zoo, where he hopes to release Clemens after vaccinating him, so he can live a normal life and not be taken away again. Once more, Clemens takes out everyone in the room, including Tommy Davidson (thank god). While running loose in the zoo, he encounters a boy, Michael, who was earlier tortured by bigger kids on scooters while riding his bike. The two share a moment, and become buddy-buddy. McCall and Clemens stay at Michael's house to evade Flick and his goons while trying to escape and let the world know about his evil plans.

I got a headache just typing that up, and that's not even halfway into the movie. Michael's mostly in the movie to give viewers something else to not care about. He's a tiny kid, 'can't be more than 90 pounds, and is in highschool. The coach comes up to him, asking him to tutor the football team so they don't fail, and can play in the games that season. He agrees as long as he can get a spot on the team, official or not. He just wants a uniform to impress a girl, one that ALREADY likes him. Later on, Michael and Clemens get into a fight with bikers with matching outfits because Michael hits one with a football. This leads to a Crouching Tiger fight where they fly tens of yards with a kick from a tiny monkey leg. After this, they bond even more in a montage of Twister, milkshake making, dancing in their underwear ala Tom Cruise, vigerously pumping Super Soakers, playing naked doctor, and more. Or at least I think that last one happened. I like to think it did anyway. Flick's henchmen were supposed to capture Clemens, but failed a few times as the movie progresses. So he calls in the Chow Brothers, a trio of Asian assassins who have the power, when together, to get beat up by a 14 year old and a monkey in a 3-minute time span. This power rivals the usefulness of Aquaman's. 56 minutes into the movie, we're introduced to a CG background of a sunset, becuase it's so hard to tape actual sunsets these days, what with them not being CG and all, and soon, Gilbert Gottfried shows up. He plays Dr. Spleen, and quotes Planet of the Apes in a priceless moment, doing what he does best. Sadly, he's in the movie for all of 2 minutes, and is never seen again. What it came down to was that this was just a bad movie. The acting was all bad, especially by McCall, who is the new Bill Paxton as far as I'm concerned. If you watch Twister, and then Funky Monkey here, it's uncanny how similar the two are. There's the obligatory romance between McCall and Michael's mom, who never even mentions if she's married or not. Nitwit henchmen of Flick's who should've been fired long before getting an assignment like this. A monkey who never does anything but fight and play football. And that's the whole movie. Nothing ever really happens to make us care for Clemens. He could've been taken away and never released for all I care. He just wasn't well-liked. Always doing his own thing and making Michael lie to the girl he has a crush on. Yes, a MONKEY makes a HUMAN lie here. We're all goin' down.

The picture and audio quality were what I'd expect from a direct-to-video movie. Fuzzy and tolerable. Though the music does step up a notch halfway though, it's nothing you'd want to impress people with using your big sound system. Sometimes though, voices were hard to hear, and I was forced to use captions/subtitles.

There are no special features. None. Not even a trailer, which doesn't surprise me, as this movie was never advertised as far as I know. You get the audio set-up, and a chapter selection on the main menu in addition to playing the movie. This saves you an' me both some time in this category.

If you want a fun animal movie, get something with Wishbone. If you want a family/animal movie, get Babe or Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey. If you want something that makes you want to push yourself down the stairs, by all means, get Funky Monkey. Even now, after the movie's over and I type this, I'm trying to figure out why they put "funky" in the title. There was nothing funky about this monkey. Even his fashion sense was plain. What a loser of a monkey. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

Possibly A Good Remake
I love movies, I love remakes... I love it all.Now I don't think the original Bad News Bears(Walter matthau) needed a remake at all.It was original, and one of the best child sports movies ever made.However, I like what this remake has going for it.
The actors... Billy Bob Thorton.After seeing him in Bad Santa and Friday Night Lights... I do think he was an excellent actor casted as the head coach of the little Bears.Greg Kinnear(Playing God,As Good As It Gets), another actor whose talent comes in so many forms.Last but not least, the Academy award winning marcia Gay Harden.Who was excellent in all of her movies, mona Lisa Smile, mickey Blue Eyes, meet Joe Black.
I always look for the directors of films now a days.Richard Linklater... a name you look at and definitely don't know, but I guarantee you know he's excellent.Directing such movies like School of Rock(Jack Black), Dazed and Confused(Jason London).I think he'll surprise us with a comedy in the month of July.
Look for this movie being out, I think it'll be the little surprise right next to the remakes Bewitched and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.Thank you! ... Read more

Description

Park Overall (TV's "Empty Nest", "Reba") plays a mother whose son is abducted by her ex-husband who keeps the boy hidden for five years. The boy (Hairy Tale, TV's "Geppetto") is finally returned, but he is intellectually and emotionally stunted and lacks all social skills. His adjustment to a normal life meets with failure. His mother must now make the decision of whether to give up her new husband, family and career to help her son become a normal boy again, or send her son to an institution and lose him forever. Drama. 91 Minutes. ... Read more

Reviews (1)

ON THE RUN WITH NO ONE LEFT TO TRUST
Traci Lords (you remeber her!) and The Candyman's Tony Todd lead an all-star cast in this edge-of-your seat thriller. After her husband dies mysteriously in hotel room, Kelly (Lords) and her son Matt return to the scene of the death in an effort to find closure to their pain. What they find however, is a conspiracy of greed and deceit that only brings more questions...and danger. While in the room cradling the very pillow that drowned out his father's death cries, six year old Matt begins to see the murder as it actually happened. Soon the killer discovers there was another witness to his crime - the child - and vows to silence him forever. With the killer closing in on them, Kelly must race against time to discover who she can trust...before it's too late. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

Super Cute!
I hadn't heard of this movie, but my husband got it for my little girl who loves monkey's and this movie is funny and really cute. Fun for the whole family!

All monkey, no funky.
Look at the box for this movie. Isn't that just the happiest monkey you've seen since Diddy Kong? Dispite being in a combat suit, he's happy, and waving towards the viewer. That's the monkey on the box. The monkey in the movie however, is a total jerk, and not funky in the slightest bit. Yeah, this is a kid's movie. But I fail to see what kind of kid this movie's for. Segments with the monkey doing things are drawn out, almost like something should've happened a few times before it actually does. Add in yet another side-story about a boy who gets a dad during this misadventure (I seem to be seeing tons of those lately), and you have one of the most trite things to come out of Hollywood. C'mon Warner Bros., I expected more from you guys. EvenGilbert Gottfried's short appearence couldn't help this movie in the slightest bit.

The movie starts out with two guys breaking into a building of some sort. What it exactly is, we're not sure. But they enter a room from the ceiling Mission Impossible-style, just dangling above security lasers, in attempt to steal a crystal banana. Enter the monkey: Clemens (because that's the best name for a monkey). He's with them, and drops a banana through the lasers, which sets off the security system. All hell breaks loose, and the secuity guards enter, but are all taken out by a guy in a monkey suit. Literally. Clemens magically doubles in size, his legs are much longer, and he's taking out everyone like Nancy Carrigan. He and the two others escape back to headquarters where Clemens is put away for future testing. His partner, McCall, won't have this, and frees Clemens by driving a motorcycle through a huge window directly in front of Clemens' cell. Great room placement there. 8 minutes into the movie, the opening credits are still rolling in, and we're wondering what's going on. It turns out that Flick, the guy in charge of the place Clemens was being held, is making super simian soldiers. Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds. Apparently, Clemens is the only one that's been a success, as we never see the other monkeys until later on in the movie. McCall and the monkey make way towards a zoo, where he hopes to release Clemens after vaccinating him, so he can live a normal life and not be taken away again. Once more, Clemens takes out everyone in the room, including Tommy Davidson (thank god). While running loose in the zoo, he encounters a boy, Michael, who was earlier tortured by bigger kids on scooters while riding his bike. The two share a moment, and become buddy-buddy. McCall and Clemens stay at Michael's house to evade Flick and his goons while trying to escape and let the world know about his evil plans.

I got a headache just typing that up, and that's not even halfway into the movie. Michael's mostly in the movie to give viewers something else to not care about. He's a tiny kid, 'can't be more than 90 pounds, and is in highschool. The coach comes up to him, asking him to tutor the football team so they don't fail, and can play in the games that season. He agrees as long as he can get a spot on the team, official or not. He just wants a uniform to impress a girl, one that ALREADY likes him. Later on, Michael and Clemens get into a fight with bikers with matching outfits because Michael hits one with a football. This leads to a Crouching Tiger fight where they fly tens of yards with a kick from a tiny monkey leg. After this, they bond even more in a montage of Twister, milkshake making, dancing in their underwear ala Tom Cruise, vigerously pumping Super Soakers, playing naked doctor, and more. Or at least I think that last one happened. I like to think it did anyway. Flick's henchmen were supposed to capture Clemens, but failed a few times as the movie progresses. So he calls in the Chow Brothers, a trio of Asian assassins who have the power, when together, to get beat up by a 14 year old and a monkey in a 3-minute time span. This power rivals the usefulness of Aquaman's. 56 minutes into the movie, we're introduced to a CG background of a sunset, becuase it's so hard to tape actual sunsets these days, what with them not being CG and all, and soon, Gilbert Gottfried shows up. He plays Dr. Spleen, and quotes Planet of the Apes in a priceless moment, doing what he does best. Sadly, he's in the movie for all of 2 minutes, and is never seen again. What it came down to was that this was just a bad movie. The acting was all bad, especially by McCall, who is the new Bill Paxton as far as I'm concerned. If you watch Twister, and then Funky Monkey here, it's uncanny how similar the two are. There's the obligatory romance between McCall and Michael's mom, who never even mentions if she's married or not. Nitwit henchmen of Flick's who should've been fired long before getting an assignment like this. A monkey who never does anything but fight and play football. And that's the whole movie. Nothing ever really happens to make us care for Clemens. He could've been taken away and never released for all I care. He just wasn't well-liked. Always doing his own thing and making Michael lie to the girl he has a crush on. Yes, a MONKEY makes a HUMAN lie here. We're all goin' down.

The picture and audio quality were what I'd expect from a direct-to-video movie. Fuzzy and tolerable. Though the music does step up a notch halfway though, it's nothing you'd want to impress people with using your big sound system. Sometimes though, voices were hard to hear, and I was forced to use captions/subtitles.

There are no special features. None. Not even a trailer, which doesn't surprise me, as this movie was never advertised as far as I know. You get the audio set-up, and a chapter selection on the main menu in addition to playing the movie. This saves you an' me both some time in this category.

If you want a fun animal movie, get something with Wishbone. If you want a family/animal movie, get Babe or Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey. If you want something that makes you want to push yourself down the stairs, by all means, get Funky Monkey. Even now, after the movie's over and I type this, I'm trying to figure out why they put "funky" in the title. There was nothing funky about this monkey. Even his fashion sense was plain. What a loser of a monkey. ... Read more